Once sentence at a time story (2)

[Steve]

Two summers ago was a vacation that I will never forget becuase it started as I headed out of town in my Chevy Suburban.

[KD7ONE]

The sky was clear and the temperature was 78 degrees.

[TrailLeadr]

The birds were buzzing, and the bees were singing.


Is it too early in the story to be silly?

[Cableguy]

Took one last look over my shoulder to make sure I had all my gear. Fishin' pole...check...beer...check.

[TrailLeadr]

bait...check...
more beer...check...
atv...check...
even more beer...check

[KD7ONE]

It will be clear sailing all the way to the lake.

[Cableguy]

As I'm cruising along, I start to thinkin' boy my Suburban runs nice lately.

[collinsperformance]

i decide to open the throddle and see what she will do in her old age.

[KD7ONE]

I was pretty impressed the old war wagon still had some get-up-and-go in her.

[Flatman]

Suddenly those pesky wild llamas bearing glocks jump in front of my truck (again)...!

[Crawdaddy]

Wait, or are those Berettas?

[Flatman]

No, but they drive Berettas... Throwing it into reverse, I out run them.

[Crawdaddy]

Since reverse has such a high gear ratio, I ran the gear to its end, then blew it out of the tranny; damn.

[Splinter_Cell]

but no problem cause my friend Mike the Mechanic had a GM certified repair shop with a spare tranny right where the tranny died.

[bart6180]

but could i get the tranny before the llamas catch up

[Slick6]

i thought so but i was wrong becuz they came wheelin in blasing bullets into my hood which completly screwed the engine so i thought quickly and grabed a new z06 vette parked in the lot which mike thankfully let me borrow for the time being

[95CTburb19]

i spin the tires through 1st and 2nd leaving the parking lot leaving the llamas chokin on my smoke.

[bart6180]

i felt relief that i got away from those crazy llamas but suddenly i was surrounded by a bright light and started floating upward" oh @$#&!!! i'm being abducted by alien samuri babboons

[Cableguy]

William Shatner! Is that you? What are you doing in this space ship?

[JoGirl]

Well,


Steve,


I'm here




because



I'm a



AlienLines Negotiator!

[KD7ONE]

All I could think of was "What kind of Twilight Zone stuff have I gotten myself into this time?"

[Flatman]

Du-du-du-du, du-du-du-du... [twilight zone theme]

[Steve]

So I punched William Shatner.

[Cableguy]

Since I have the chance...Hey Bill did you really drown your wife in a shallow pool?

[Flatman]

Why yes, yes I did...

[Holy Smoke]

:gasp: Surprised as Bill was,,, he said,

Why



do


you






ask ? ? ? ? ?

[Aeropagus]

Then William Shatner jumped up and kicked me in the head.

[JayMack75]

He shouted "You should have named your own price at Priceline" and ran off.

[Holy Smoke]

Before I knew it I was back on earth, in the Z06 Vette(thanks to Mike),no fishin poles,no bait and no beer.

[Holy Smoke]

Having slept for a week, I decided I needed to get to Wal-Mart to get supplies for my vacation trip.

[Cableguy]

Then I realized, my wife buys her panties here...what the hell would Walmart know about fishing gear...

[Holy Smoke]

So I bought her another pair, since I was there, and then ran out to find a place for fishing gear.

[Steve]

... but I decided to have a look anyway, so I walked to the sporting good counter, and the clerk turned around and it was William Shatner holding a defender 90 stainless steel shotgun.

[Holy Smoke]

OH NO,,,,, NOT AGAIN,, I thought,,,,, and I'm still ticked that you kicked me in the head.

[PepboysASETech]

So i smashed my fist through the glass show case in front of me like Van Damn, lol, would and grabbed the shiny new "Leatherman".

[Megasaurus]

we looked at each other and shatner said, "go aaaaaahead. Make my Daaaay., doing his best eastwood, but still sounding like shatner doing eastwood.

[Holy Smoke]

So I easily took his shot gun(90 series),because he was so old and slow, and the leatherman, and grabbed a fishing pole , and ran as fast as I could to get to the door, and it was then that I looked and noticed....

[PepboysASETech]

.....that beer was on sale for buy 1 6pack get one free. Amazing i thought sence those darn aliens from earlyer ruined my whole beer drinking trip. I mean fishing trip.

[Holy Smoke]

So I bought 3 6pks,.....(I wasnt' very gud at spelling ur math),and headed to the chechout counter . By now it was the day before Christmas..

[Holy Smoke]

After driving for 3 days now,(right though Christmas) I finally reached the fishin park.

[GM_Guy]

and after getting there, the sign read closed

[RatRod]

So I broke through the barricade and made my way down to the lake.

[finalday7]

I got to the lake but then I heard something behind me.

[GM_Guy]

it was Deputy Fife on patrol

[Holy Smoke]

I asked, "Deputy Fife, sir, (not wanting to get in trouble for the BARRICADE situation), DO YOU HAVE YOUR FISHING POLE WITH YOU OR IS IT AT THE STATION?"

[sgt_in_usaf]

Deputy Fife looked at me and said "I don't need no fishin poles, these hands here are certified lethal weapons".

[RatRod]

So he took his one bullet out of his shirt pocket and loaded his pistol.

[Holy Smoke]

Which was amazing because he still had the pistol in it's holster, and fumbling, I waited.

[sgt_in_usaf]

As he proceeded to shoot himself in the foot, the llamas caught up and started to devour him.

[Cableguy]

Save me Andy! Save me!

[Holy Smoke]

It was to late,,,the llamas had finished him off, and where still hungry (no meat on the bones). So I turned to the lake,,

[MD4x4 Fireman]

and ran like a little kid screaming until....

[GM_Guy]

I discovered the cabin had cable TV

[finalday7]

But NO HBO.

[MD4x4 Fireman]

then i looked out the window and saw a boat at a pier.

[GM_Guy]

it was the SS Minnow

[MD4x4 Fireman]

but then i saw llamas eatting Gilligan and the Skipper too

[finalday7]

but the movie star, and mary ann were untouched as they baked in the morning sun.

[Holy Smoke]

I thought, "I've got to get to the girls," So I covered myself in tanning oil ,and it worked, No llama bits, they went away. So I said to Maryann and Ginger,,,,,

[MD4x4 Fireman]

lets get out of here and go to walmart to get some beer

[Sooner]

As we walked through the door, the greeter wearing the company's trademark blue vest, baggy nylon pants and a tattered Nike visor looks Ginger up and down and says....

[finalday7]

is that a return?

[MD4x4 Fireman]

I said NO and kept walking

[finalday7]

but my walk was interupted by 3 old ladies standing in the middle of the isle not moving.

[Holy Smoke]

Well, Maryann grab one of them, and Ginger grabbed the other, and they said,,,,

[MD4x4 Fireman]

get out of the way. we have places to go and things to do

[finalday7]

Just then the third old lady pulled something out of her purse.

[MD4x4 Fireman]

it was a tazer

[finalday7]

She lunged forward towards me but slipped and broke her hip.

[Cableguy]

Have I told you guys you've gone bonkers lately :rofl:

http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w247/cableguy_07/voices.jpg

We now return you to this previously retarded thread.....

[MD4x4 Fireman]

jamie your a comedian...lol you should add in a sentence

[finalday7]

I quickly escaped with maryann and ginger and to my amazement saw Jamie holding up a bra to see if it would fit.

[Cableguy]

Hey this thing covers my man boobs quite nicely actually....
http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w247/cableguy_07/there-are-no-cookies-here.jpg

[MD4x4 Fireman]

So I yelled Jamie buy it!

[GM_Guy]

I make out with the girls in the back of My suburban, and we wear out the rear springs

[Holy Smoke]

That's when I woke up from being tazared by that old &$#(@^. and realized that all that was a great dream. Wow, I tryed to get back asleep in Walmart but the ...(and who was that Jamie ???)

[MD4x4 Fireman]

greeter kept yelling

[Holy Smoke]

"get Up Off The Floor,,grab Your Two Girls And,,,,

[finalday7]

leave, but how could I leave without my beer that i've gone through so much trouble to get?

[MD4x4 Fireman]

so i left.. and went to a store down the road to get the beer.

[finalday7]

All of a sudden my left rear tire went flat and I started to swerve all over the road.

[MD4x4 Fireman]

So I went to NTB and they said it was a llama's hoof(i guess they have hoofs) stuck in the tire

[finalday7]

So after explaining how the hoof got there, I asked how could a hoof possible cut through a tire.

[MD4x4 Fireman]

the mechanic said that thing was REALLY sharp. he said ill fix the tire but try to not get the llamas mad again.

[finalday7]

look man just fix my tire, i've had a long day.

[MD4x4 Fireman]

so once he fixed the tire i got my beer and went home to watch the movie Dale

[Sooner]

But, after killing half an hour and a six pack, pushing, pulling, twisting, jabbing and cutting, I finally get through the child proof DVD case w/ snaps only to find the wrong movie, it's............

[finalday7]

BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN. AHHH this has been the worst day of my life....

[MD4x4 Fireman]

So I went to blockbuster and got the right movie (trucks gone wild)

[finalday7]

Ginger and Maryann looked at me alittle funny but I said "If you owned a GM you'd understand".

[MD4x4 Fireman]

Then I bought Trucks Gone Wild 2 & 3

[finalday7]

Finally I got home, Girls in arms, Movies in hand and beer in fridge.

[MD4x4 Fireman]

My mission was COMPLETE!

[Holy Smoke]

Which goes to prove, Fishin vacations can turn out to be one story after another..:gasp:
ps Ginger and Mariann are REALLY liking these movies.

[finalday7]

Well that sounds like it's all wraped up. Someone should go throught and type it all up..... Not me. :glasses:

[RatRod]

So we headed to New Orleans for Mardi Gras to shoot girls gone wild..............

[MD4x4 Fireman]

and Kris met up with us so we could cruise do the main road

[Holy Smoke]

Can I come, just don't tell my wife. She's busy driving my truck.
I think KRIS and MATT should start a new story.
You guys are sICK !! Any other opinions??

[MD4x4 Fireman]

Yes you can come. Why us start it?

[finalday7]

I say with go with a roadtrip type story and pick up people on the way. And hopefully everyone we pick up can chirp in at somepoint. Maybe a good way to get more people involved?

[Holy Smoke]

Yes you can come. Why us start it?

Where were you??? You guys should start it cause your weirder than me. I saw what you two did the other day. Booooyyy. And if we pick up people I'll have to start writting this down, and I'm not good with crayons:gasp:

[Holy Smoke]

Rat Rod wants to shoot girls in New Orleans. Don't you need to have a license to do that?? And I don't have a guun. I'm not really from the south

[MD4x4 Fireman]

I like that your idea Kris. You start and then Ill chime in

[Holy Smoke]

I like that your idea Kris. You start and then Ill chime in

I like the idea too. I'll watch?

[MD4x4 Fireman]

I like the idea too. I'll watch?

you will chime in too! cause the more people that chime in the better

[Holy Smoke]

So while were waiting for a story to hit us,,I'd like to find out what some people's code names stand for. Like we had the avatar game, so we try to guess what the code stands for or the individual can explain what there own code stands for. For example,,,, You must be a Medical Doctor that drives a 4X4 on Fire MAN. how's that ?? If your a Doctor, I better be nice to you.

[MD4x4 Fireman]

so now i explain what it really means?

[Sooner]

I would assume MD stands for Maryland. Great story by the way. I LMAO!

[Holy Smoke]

so now i explain what it really means?

If you want, or you can make it up, and then next time you can change it. I shouldn't have the fun, you can tell me what you want me to think. ...I am curious though. ....you probly have to shoot me.:gasp:
I didn't' even see the Maryland there,. Great job Sooner.

[MD4x4 Fireman]

Well its MD4x4 Fireman cause i'm from Maryland, i like 4x4 trucks and i am a fireman.... now for yours, its holy smoke cause probably you roasted your tires in a church parking lot

[Holy Smoke]

Your so right!!:party: You must have been there. That's one church that doesn't let back in.:rofl:
The real story is about as good, I bought the 70 pictured about a year ago, for low money. Great paint, bed most everthing except, brakes all bad, steering loose, Ugly under hood, springs torched and bottomed, bad carpet, etc.no tail pipes just, nice duel 3in. The truck is sooo light in the back, I spin tires about anytime. .Thats the smoke part.
I also use my truck as an out reach, conversation piece at cruise-ins and become a friend to people and find out how I can help them in their lives. Ya end up with lots of friends. And we learn from each other. (I learn more). There were a lot of Miracles from day one on this, out of our control. I didn't even see it in the beginning. My whole life puts me at a good position for this.
A friend of ours, knew what was happening and knew how it spins tires all the time, she said "Holy Smoke". My wife and I's jaws hit the floor. So the trucks name is Holy Smoke.

[MD4x4 Fireman]

i like that story. there is some guy near me who used to go do donuts at the church near me all the time.

[Holy Smoke]

I do donuts at church, but I use both hands with no coffee. Now they hide them.

[pook7one]

I jumped out of my seat for a second, then realizied, what else am i going to use my push bumper for.