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Thread: Jokes

  1. #31
    Sr. Mechanic 06piney's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Lakehurst, New Jersey
    Posts
    170

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    A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. So when he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head and fired a shot into the ceiling. ''WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?'' he yelled.
    No one answered.


    ''ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA' BEER, AND IF MY HOSS AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINISH, I'M GONNA DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS!''
    Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, ''Say partner, before you go. . .what happened in Texas?''
    The cowboy turned back and said, ''I had to walk home.''

    06 Silverado 1500 W/T
    No mods as of yet
    Soon to come (When I get the money that is)

  2. #32

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    George and his buddy Fred left early Saturday morning to play a round of golf. After kissing his wife good bye, George said he would be home by dinner.
    9:30 that evening, George gets home with his wife sitting at the dinner table. Where have you been? she asked. Well, it started out we had a flat on the way to the golf course. Then there was an accident on the freeway. When we got to the golf course, we were an hour late. An hour late! she said. That doesn't explain why you are over 4 hours late getting home. That wasn't all, George said, when we got to the sixth hole, Fred had a heart attack. So it was hit the ball, drag Fred. Hit the ball, drag Fred...

    1999 LS 2500 4x4
    7.4L Vortec

  3. #33

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    A guy turned 50 and his wife suggested he go to the doctor and have a check up. He makes his appointment and goes to the doctor. The physician is wrapping up his physical and hands the guy 3 specimen jars. The guy looks at them and asks what they are for. The doctor said he needs a stool, urine and semen sample. The guy looks at the little jars and looks at the doc and takes his underwear off and says. "Here just use these."

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