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Thread: Jokes

  1. #1
    Sr. Apprentice Heineken's Avatar
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    Default Jokes

    Is there an area on this site for jokes? Clean ones of course. Ha. Ha.
    Heineken

    2008 Tahoe LTZ White Diamond (Loaded)
    2003 2500HD Ext Cab DuraMAX
    2002 Civic (Momma's)
    1997 Jetta Trek
    1986 BMW 325 (e)

    At least the bottom three are paid for :lol:

  2. #2
    Legend

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    Default

    There has been a few in this forum. I say have at it!

    Btw...did you hear about the two goldfish in a tank? One turns to the other and says "Hey, do you even know how to drive this thing?"

    Just picked this one up:

    When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed.
    The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license
    He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture."
    The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," he reassured the man: "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."
    Steven



    "The Sarge"
    1999 Chevy Suburban LT- K2500
    7.4 454 Vortec, 4WD
    305/70/16 on Eagle Alloy




  3. #3

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Springthing View Post
    There has been a few in this forum. I say have at it!

    Btw...did you hear about the two goldfish in a tank? One turns to the other and says "Hey, do you even know how to drive this thing?"

    Just picked this one up:

    When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed.
    The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license
    He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture."
    The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," he reassured the man: "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."
    GOOD ONE!! I could actually see that happening
    "ROCK YOUR RIDE"

  4. #4

    Default Henry Ford

    Henry Ford dies and goes to Heaven.
    At the gate, St Peter tells Henry Ford: "Well, you've been such a good guy, invented the car, changed the world. As a reward you can hang out with anybody in Heaven of your choice."
    So Henry Ford thinks about it and says: "I would like to hang out with God himself?"
    So St Peter takes him directly to God's thrown and Henry Ford starts by saying: "God, I don't want to sound biased, but you have some major design flaws in Your invention, the Woman.
    1. There's too much front end protrusion
    2. It chatters at high speeds
    3. The rear end wobbles too much
    4. The intake is too close to the exhaust."
    "MMMMM" says God and goes over to the Celestial Super Computer, types in a few key strokes, and waits for the results.
    He then turns to Henry Ford and says; "It may be that My invention is flawed, but according to the stellar computer more men are riding My invention then your's".

  5. #5

    Default One more time....

    A Texan man was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had, how many women he had been with, and how much land he owned.
    A young man growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan; "Just how much land do you own?"
    The Texan tipped back he's Cowboy hat and said to the young man: "Well sunny let me put it to you like this, I can get into my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch, and still not get to the other side of my property by sunset."
    The young man shot back quickly: "Oh ye, I know what you mean. I used to own a FORD truck too!"

  6. #6

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by garagegoon View Post
    Henry Ford dies and goes to Heaven.
    That's a good one, I like it!
    Christopher

    1991 Chevy Suburban 1/2 ton 2WD w/ chevy SBC 350-3/4 ton drivetrain upgrade w/4.10 gears 200K miles
    2005 Saturn ION-2 Stock 265K miles
    1982 Bronco, 1993 Bronco (sold), 1971 M35A2 Deuce and a Half



    There are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary, and those who dont...

    Remember kids, the only difference between screwing around and science is writing it down- Adam Savage

  7. #7

    Default

    We used to have a spot for humor, it got little traffic. Probably in the games and contests area we could rename it and use it for off-topic stuff like games, humor, contests, etc.

    Steve
    10 Chevy Traverse LT AWD
    02 Chevy Trailblazer LS (110K+ miles - loaded except for 4WD - WRECKED!)
    99 Chevy Cavalier LS (105K+ miles - commuter car)
    78 Chevy Suburban Silverado (454, 3/4 ton)
    62 GMC 3/4 ton Pickup (350 police interceptor)

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  8. #8

    Default I have tons... Let me know when to stop....

    A motorist runs a red light and is photographed by an automated police camera. In the mail a short time later, he receives a photo of his car committing the infraction and a citation for $60. Instead of paying the fine, the motorist mails the police department a photograph of three 20-dollar bills. Several days later, he gets a letter back from the police department. Inside is a photograph of a pair of handcuffs.

  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by garagegoon View Post
    A Texan man was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had, how many women he had been with, and how much land he owned.
    A young man growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan; "Just how much land do you own?"
    The Texan tipped back he's Cowboy hat and said to the young man: "Well sunny let me put it to you like this, I can get into my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch, and still not get to the other side of my property by sunset."
    The young man shot back quickly: "Oh ye, I know what you mean. I used to own a FORD truck too!"
    hahah that is a good one!

    And no need to stop!!
    Ryan

    2002 Jeep Wrangler Sport 4x4 (the Yellow Jacket)
    4inch suspension 3inch body
    Straight 6 (383 Stroker within a year)
    36inch SuperSwamper TSL.
    105,000
    Detroit Loccers
    Daily Driver Weekend Wheeler
    much more...

    2004 Sierra crew cab, 2wd, 5.3 V8
    2inch Daystar Leveling kit
    single dumped Flowmaster 40 sieries exaust(removed)
    Mb Blitz Chrome wheels
    Leer Bed Cover(for sale)
    50k miles
    :glasses:




  10. #10

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