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  1. #1

    Default Aggravate a Telemarketer Today?

    1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

    2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "

    3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

    4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

    5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

    6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

    7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

    8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

    9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

    10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.

    11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.

    12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up.

    13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

    14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.

    15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

    16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

    17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

    18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

    19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder!

    20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
    Last edited by Cableguy; 04-16-2007 at 08:21 PM.



    Jamie

    2007 Ford E250(Work van) (Ya, Ya, shut up!)
    1996 GMC Sierra SLE 1500 5.7L/4L60E

  2. #2

  3. #3

    Default

    LMNBO . Definitely some new tactics.
    Want to help your local post man stay employed? Just go to the library and find the magazine section then proceed to pull all the cards with prepaid postage then carefully write in your favorite politicians name address and so on. When you have completed all these tasks walk to the post office and drop them in the mail box. You see postage is not charged on these cards until they actually run through the system. The good side is you load up your politician with at least one months good reading before they cancel the subscription.
    2010 Chevy Silverado Z71 ext cab.4x4
    72 Monte Carlo 350-415 hp- sold (June 2011) to pay medical bills
    79 Impala 350 4bbl 375 hp- sold (June 2011)to pay medical bills
    oldfart2413@gmail.com

    "If He asks you to go a mile go two"

  4. #4
    Master Mechanic Jimmeh's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coach24 View Post
    LMNBO . Definitely some new tactics.
    Want to help your local post man stay employed? Just go to the library and find the magazine section then proceed to pull all the cards with prepaid postage then carefully write in your favorite politicians name address and so on. When you have completed all these tasks walk to the post office and drop them in the mail box. You see postage is not charged on these cards until they actually run through the system. The good side is you load up your politician with at least one months good reading before they cancel the subscription.
    Hahaha, I am totally doing this!
    2005 Chevy Silverado W/T
    4X4|4.8 with some mods (has only slightly more pull than a 5.3)|Auto|4 door ex cab|Cooper Discoverer AT/3's in 285-75/17's on Helo 842's|Cooper Discover M+S 265-75/17's on Devino DV349's|Flowmaster 40 Single in Dual out with custom bent pipe from the end of the cats back|2" Procomp leveling kit|Custom made center console|Custom dyno tunes|Air Raid CAI|Air Raid Throttle Body Spacer|Apex brand topper|Kenwood Head Unit with Kenwood speakers|Painted mirrors/grille|Debadged except front emblem|Bilsteins front and rear
    Planned mods not in order
    2 inch lift|Custom front/rear bumper|hitch tire carrier|roof basket on topper, bars on cab|finish center console build|install Midland CB|Power options|Tint|Custom made raised bed in the bed of the truck|Lund LunarVisor
    Also have a 1992 Ford Ranger with a lot of stuff done to it. Currently waiting for a bit of a rebuild.


    "The only woman I'm pimping from now on is Sweet Lady Propane. And I'm tricking her out all over this town."

  5. #5

    Default

    You can also shake those magazines at the store and get a dozen or more each visit . Lol
    Even those free papers have them on occasion. I just love sending them in to support our great postal staff. Ok, not really , yes I love to fill the senators mail box with all manner of publications from comics to penthouse and playboy. My senators are Mormon so I am certain they will hide a few in the bottom drawer and keep it under lock and key. Only wish I could video their faces.
    2010 Chevy Silverado Z71 ext cab.4x4
    72 Monte Carlo 350-415 hp- sold (June 2011) to pay medical bills
    79 Impala 350 4bbl 375 hp- sold (June 2011)to pay medical bills
    oldfart2413@gmail.com

    "If He asks you to go a mile go two"

  6. #6

    Default

    these are some great ideas. may have to do that.

    Alex


    2011 GMC Sierra SLE 5.3 Z71 4X4 Stealth Gray Metallic / 2004 Chevy Impala LS 3.8 Cappuccino

    Tow mirrors - Diablew Tuned - Flowmaster Regular 40 - Ready Lift 2.5' lift - BFG LT A/T K/Os - Carr Light Wing - TruckLite LED lights - Optima Red Top - 50% Front Window Tint - Line-X bedliner - Airaid MIT - Tekonsha P2 - ARS Billet Grill - Fia custom fit seat covers

  7. #7

    Default

    now i just need a telemarketer to call me so i can have some fun, when first got back from iraq id answer in what little bit of arabic i knew and continue in a heavy arabic voice...im surprised i never got picked up to be investigated as a possible terrorist lol
    Go-Recon "xtreme" amber scanning tail gate light strip, Cobra ultra2 CB radio W/ 4 foot firestix antennas, dual exhaust with 40 series single in dual out muffler, 305/65R17 Mickey Thomson Baja ATZ on 17 inch Mickey Thompson Side Biters, 3 inch body lift

    "when the going gets tough the tough get cyclic:fighting0019:"
    "use the force luke:fighting0040:"

  8. #8

    Default

    Careful sarge you know big brother is watching the air waves. Lol
    Wanna get rid of those door to door religion selling folks?
    Here is what I did.
    I got home from a sales trip at 4AM went straight to bed. At 8AM someone is relentlessly knocking on my door and ringing my door bell. Emergency right? Wrong it was two ladies from Jehovah witness wanting to spread the word and sell me their publication for the month. Well this hair broke my camels back. I took a deep breath and bit my tongue, then invited them in. They started in the door when I said there was one condition. They asked what that condition was. I said at my house no one wears clothes except outside, I dropped my robe and stood their naked as could be. Their faces went red and they turned with out speaking leaving my yard. That was four years ago and I haven't had a knock at my door since.
    No guarantees but it seems to have worked for me.
    2010 Chevy Silverado Z71 ext cab.4x4
    72 Monte Carlo 350-415 hp- sold (June 2011) to pay medical bills
    79 Impala 350 4bbl 375 hp- sold (June 2011)to pay medical bills
    oldfart2413@gmail.com

    "If He asks you to go a mile go two"

  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coach24 View Post
    Careful sarge you know big brother is watching the air waves. Lol
    Wanna get rid of those door to door religion selling folks?
    Here is what I did.
    I got home from a sales trip at 4AM went straight to bed. At 8AM someone is relentlessly knocking on my door and ringing my door bell. Emergency right? Wrong it was two ladies from Jehovah witness wanting to spread the word and sell me their publication for the month. Well this hair broke my camels back. I took a deep breath and bit my tongue, then invited them in. They started in the door when I said there was one condition. They asked what that condition was. I said at my house no one wears clothes except outside, I dropped my robe and stood their naked as could be. Their faces went red and they turned with out speaking leaving my yard. That was four years ago and I haven't had a knock at my door since.
    No guarantees but it seems to have worked for me.
    That is pretty funny...

    But we don't go out in service until after 9:30am...

    But that is still pretty funny.
    Pavement sucks... :grrrrrr:



    1994 K1500 4x4 Ext. Cab
    PCM chip and Xenon 8000k bulbs
    350cu.in bored over .050"
    balanced Crank, 10:1 compression
    Flat top pistons,cam,ported heads
    Option Racing Cold Air Intake
    Holley Throttle Body Spacer
    Accell Igition, 45kv coil
    FloTech Headers, no CATs, dual exhuast
    Goodyear Silent Armor A/T 305/70-16
    Pioneer SupertunerIII CD USB Bluetooth
    Kicker ZX200.2 ZX Amp
    Kicker Audio COMP 10" Subwoofer

  10. #10

    Default

    Of course, as all intelligent Americans, we are on the Federal No Call List. When my kids were younger, like 2 or 3, and before the List, I would hand them the phone when telemarketers called. They loved to talk on the phone.

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