This is a community service post on things you should never say to your spouse or significant other. It is meant to be humorous of course, but real advice is always welcome to.

I will start with a few.

1. Yes, those jeans do make you look fat.

2. I love you for your money.

3. I do.

4. I left work early and went drinking with the boys.

5, Yes, her boobs are bigger than yours.