A compendium of pontifications

[GM_Guy]

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting
a rest.

3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's
al lright now.

4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

7. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

8. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet concrete. He became a hardened
criminal.

9. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

10. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

12. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
ground.

13. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

14. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

15. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

16. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)

17. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
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[Cableguy]

Nice Jeff...and clean too.

What did the one strawberry say to the other strawberry.....If it wasn't for you being so fresh we wouldn't be in this jam.

[GM_Guy]