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Thread: Redneck Pictures
02-25-2012, 12:08 AM #101
Tips From the Redneck Book of Manners
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
DATING (OUTSIDE THE FAMILY)
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: 'I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago.'
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say 'Monday.' If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as, 'Ya'll sure don't sweat much for a fat gal.'
1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
5. It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack.
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife/girlfriend down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
TWO REASONS WHY IT IS HARD TO SOLVE A REDNECK MURDER:
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records2010 Chevy Silverado Z71 ext cab.4x4
72 Monte Carlo 350-415 hp- sold (June 2011) to pay medical bills
79 Impala 350 4bbl 375 hp- sold (June 2011)to pay medical bills
"If He asks you to go a mile go two"
02-25-2012, 11:54 PM #102
WOW thats alot of reading!!! LOL
(Scott) Myrtle Beach, SC
January 2012 ROTM WINNER
2011 GMC Sierra Z71 MAX 6.2 L w/ Trailering Package
Rough Country, XD Rockstars, Nitto Trail Grapplers, N Fab, Lund Genesis, Putco, Gator Grip,
Flowmaster 40 series, Diablosport InTune, Banks Ram Air CAI,
WeatherTech, AVS Aeroskin, Tow Mirrors, Upgradeyourauto.com
02-26-2012, 12:10 AM #103
Yes it is, but I thought you could do it at least one at a time
02-26-2012, 01:37 AM #104
02-26-2012, 11:36 AM #105
Not quite sure how well thats gonna end. Good height and take off trajectory but in the end not so positive about a happy landingDavid
2004 Silverado 2500 Crew Cab 4x4, AMSOIL EA air filter, Granatelli MAF sensor, Throttle body spacer, Magnaflow exhaust (true dual to 2 in 1 out muffler), 6" ProComp lift (add a leaf and 5" superlift rear block), Bilstein shocks, 35's (Cooper Disoverer ST) and 4.10 gears, Rhino Liner, EGRUSA fender Flares and widow visors, extended stainless steel brake lines, firestone airbags w/onboard air compressor, Pioneer Avic X940BT navigation, Accel backup camera.
1960 Land Rover Series II 88
2002 Nissan Altima (My Commuter)
2013 Toyota Avalon Limited (Wife's Car)
NRA Life Member
02-27-2012, 01:23 AM #106
02-29-2012, 04:53 PM #107
I reckon he will need some parts to repair the damage at the end of it all
03-01-2012, 10:12 AM #108
03-01-2012, 01:06 PM #109
03-01-2012, 03:55 PM #110
Just breaking um on you!!! I gotta have someone to pick on!!! LOL
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