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  1. #11

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    Ok after four marriages here is my short take.
    1. Be totally honest with each other and yourselves.
    2. Never stay in it for the child. This is the most egregious error of all. I stuck around for 6 years after finding my ex was cheating and lieing to me, for the children. It made matters worse as the children blame me cause I wouldn't sleep with the ex anymore.
    3. Never argue. Meaning when the screaming starts I walk out the door till cooler heads prevail. Arguing in front of a child is akin to child abuse.
    4. Be honest
    5. Sit back and look at what you may have done to push her away. As well as what the big picture shows you. You are a marine. Marines overcome and adapt. Use that training in survival to mend the marriage, if possible.
    6. Talk to your parents and hers to see where you both may be able to adjust your attitudes.
    7. Hire a PI and see what she is doing when you aren't home or with her.

    Yes some can be hard to take but the truth lies somewhere in between. Find the truths and you will have the beginning of a plan to your future.
    Be aware that it doesn't always work the way we thought it would/should.

    Best of luck with your family and your future.

    And thanks again for your service to this fine country
    2010 Chevy Silverado Z71 ext cab.4x4
    72 Monte Carlo 350-415 hp- sold (June 2011) to pay medical bills
    79 Impala 350 4bbl 375 hp- sold (June 2011)to pay medical bills
    oldfart2413@gmail.com

    "If He asks you to go a mile go two"

  2. #12

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    My wife and I were close to calling it done about a year ago. We fell into a rut. The same thing day in day out. Than she started working long hours for a few months straight. It was like we were roommates. It took for us to sit down and talk about where we were at and how to fix it. That communication was a great start. Than we started to have date night. For the most part it didn't cost much money. Maybe a little gas money to go to a park to go for a walk, or a ride on bicycles. Or in our case a ride on my motorcycle. I know you have a child which makes a little more difficult to do those things but you find a way.
    To add to your situation is the life changing event of getting out of the Corps. I know when I got out in 98 I had issues because of the lack of a regimented routine. It took a while for me to adjust. Good luck. Semper Fi!!

  3. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scooter View Post
    Hey guys, Don't mean to bring bad memories out or anything but I need some real help. My wife and i have been at it for a few weeks now. We have been married now for 3yrs together for 4. lately it seems everything just turns into an argument. It's a fifty fifty on who starts it, I know its not just me nor is it just her. I know that it takes two people to argue, Lately everything has just been building up. Ive been outta the corps now and going to school for two yrs now. Im also a stay at home father, I had a part time job which I was laid off from. and money has been real tight, I also am suppose to start a new job this week but due to my background check not clearing yet its been pushed back to july 1st before I start, on top of which my school messed up with my transcripts and so instead of graduating in Sept, It wont be for another 6 months. Our biggest fight also happened yesterday, all this in one day made for possibly the worst day Ive had yet, Not to mention I got rear ended and a stop light just to top things off. I love my wife and still am deeply in love with her. Its just as though there is no longer that spark there, and I feel as if she has just givin up. We have a 2yr old daughter together and sometimes I wonder if she is the only thing keeping us together....Im sorry for ranting and raving, and Im not looking for a lecture, just advice. I keep trying to get us to do things that we use to and it just seems like Im the only one trying to keep our marriage alive. I know there are always two sides to a story and Ive tried to keep this unbiased as possible, and Im not saying that are failing marriage is due to her, its both our faults and I know that. But ive been honest and here I have laid it out. Now let me have it, I know there some old guys out there that have been married for 30 plus yrs, whats the secret, have yall gone through a sump like this, how did you fix it, Is it really over????
    i knew my married life was at its end when the no good for nothing c__k s_cking gutter sl_t b_tch left me and my (at the time 8month old) son for some pos dipsh_t crack dealer that she met 4 days before hand. since then she has done real good for herself. she has another kid and is knocked up again atm for the 4th time. the last 3 she aborted. she feels she wants this 1. she is working at a whore house in Nevada living in a camper. i know all this since i still employ bounty hunters to keep tabs on her. info is the key to protecting you and your child from anything or anyone.

    now dont look to much into what i have to say here. i dont know your personal life. i dont know you. i dont know alot about whats going on with you and your wife.
    now here we go down the rabbit hole. imo if your arguing alot then that could likely be a good sign in a sense. thats saying that both of you might not be happy with certain things but there is an interest in fixing the problems. which that can only be done with in house litigation. litigation on a personal level can be in any and/or multiple forms. arguing is the most common form. lets face it, who really sits down like a couple of Brits to enjoy some tea and talk out the problems of the day. (for those that claim to, your scary) so evaluate these arguments and see if there is a way that you 2 can come to a common ground on the issue's of just that argument. do not attempt to fix, change or heal other issue's not related to that specific argument. while in these arguments make note of power points that cause flares of tempers. assess those points at a later time and determine if they even need to be addressed and if so how can you confront yourself with that issue. away from the arguments do not try to fix things with her that get to you. only work on fixing your issue's. by doing so this will create the environment for her to make changes aswel. 99% of the time your partner will only correct themselves when its there choice to do so. if you force change onto them it can cause far more problems. if they dont change then see if there is a way that you can live with or deal with that certain issue.

    now in response to the question about how people stay married over long periods of time, well it comes down to pretty much what i have just spent my own time typing to you. THEY WORK IT OUT! get it? to much these days people in general are raised to give up and move on if something does not go there way. well, the truth be told, the only thing that you will ever truly get your way is your own thoughts. everything else you have to work at.
    Last edited by mudpuppy; 06-15-2012 at 02:14 AM.
    94 sub 6inch lift 34inch bfg mt. massive rework project soon. the audio system hit 150.3db so now its time to rebuild and try for 155db. mudpuppy is also getting a new engine, rebuilt ifs, dual 500amp 15.1vdc alts, 5 5,000amp batts, ant the combined wattage with the new system should be close to 15,000watts. this is going to be a wild ride boy and girls.

  4. #14

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    Well said. Hope all is well after the fact. Sometimes things work out better after the "D". My parents have been married for 59 years and I am jealous of hat. I will never celebrate a silver annivesary as I had hoped. But when you can no longer trust an individual it is time to part ways. IMHO
    2010 Chevy Silverado Z71 ext cab.4x4
    72 Monte Carlo 350-415 hp- sold (June 2011) to pay medical bills
    79 Impala 350 4bbl 375 hp- sold (June 2011)to pay medical bills
    oldfart2413@gmail.com

    "If He asks you to go a mile go two"

  5. #15

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    IF you want to keep the marriage together try watching the movie fire proof. There are a few good points in that movie hit home in my marriage.
    Old Show Trucks USA conversion
    Custom Paint, interior (Wood grain and leather seats) windows so dark you need a flash light to see me, stock rims, headers, dual exhaust.

  6. #16

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    My girlfriend and I have been together happily for 5 years now. We get along great and both are very content with not getting married. I joke with my friends and family that ask when we are getting married and this is what I tell them. Our relationship is like buying a vehicle, why buy it if you can test drive it for free.We have seen many of our friends marriages fail, become ugly, and have had our own previous long term relationships go bad. So we have decided that if and when marriage is right for us, we will know when the time is right. Probably wont be for at least another 5 years. As long as she dont break down so I dont have to trade her in on a new model.(Ha, I always tell her that when she complains of aches and pains. Joking of course)




    2011 Silverado CrewCab 5.3L*Ram Air Look Cowl Induction Reflexxion Hood*6" Pro Comp Lift*Flowmaster Dual exhaust*Perfect Launch Rear Diff. Cover*Led Smoke Taillights*L.E.D.Smoke 3rd Brakelight*60" L.E.D. Tailgate Bar*Rearview Mirror Reverse Camera and Sensors*Smoke Headlight Covers*Front Bumper Grill Insert*Deezee Black Alum. Diamond Rail covers*20" Ultra Motorsports Rims wrapped with 35.5"B.F. Goodrich Tires*Inchannel Raingaurds*CAI*Bullydog GT Tuner*Alpine Amp*Boss 6x9's*Boston Acoustic Subs*Terrantula Tweeters*Custom Sub box*Red Led Interior Accents*5% Ultimacool duo tint rear window and doors, 20% front doors*Custom Vinyl Graphics*Demolded*Debadged*Painted drums and calipers*
    Future Mods Include: Custom Interior Hydrographics, Electronic Rollup Toneau Cover, 4.56 Gears, Painted rear bumper

  7. #17

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    I new the marriage was over when I came home early and she was in bed with someone else.
    Money can be a serious strain on a marriage and is a big cause of divorces, been ther done that. I have been divorced twice and lost all of my toys and 3 houses, (got that figured out find someone you hate, buy them a house and leave).

    1. Don't stay married for the kids or fight in front of the kids. A divorce is better for your daugther than being around fighting.

    2. Try to talk things out and each of you make a list of things that are causing problems.

    3. She is probably feeling resntment since you are not getting a paycheck and is overwhelmed that she is supporting the family.

    4. Leave the kid with a baby sitter and get away for the weekend, try to patch things up.

    5. See a counciler, since you are military you should be able to get counciling thru the VA
    Ford has a better idea! Drive a GM!

    07 GMC Sierra Classic
    07 Honda Accord EX-L

    68 Camaro (blown)
    2011 Ford F550 V10
    I don't own this truck, I just drive it!

  8. #18

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    Counselor? Why? He has all our experience and there ain't nuffin bedr than an arm chair marriage counselor Just needed to lighten this thread up a bit.
    Wishing all the best to all those married couples who are having a little strain right now. May the good Lord see fit to assist you in finding the way to keep family relations strong and prosperous.
    2010 Chevy Silverado Z71 ext cab.4x4
    72 Monte Carlo 350-415 hp- sold (June 2011) to pay medical bills
    79 Impala 350 4bbl 375 hp- sold (June 2011)to pay medical bills
    oldfart2413@gmail.com

    "If He asks you to go a mile go two"

  9. #19

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    For some reason I got to thinking about this thread again. You doing ok @Scooter?

    Steve
    10 Chevy Traverse LT AWD
    02 Chevy Trailblazer LS (110K+ miles - loaded except for 4WD - WRECKED!)
    99 Chevy Cavalier LS (105K+ miles - commuter car)
    78 Chevy Suburban Silverado (454, 3/4 ton)
    62 GMC 3/4 ton Pickup (350 police interceptor)

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  10. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Coach24 View Post
    Counselor? Why? He has all our experience and there ain't nuffin bedr than an arm chair marriage counselor Just needed to lighten this thread up a bit.
    Wishing all the best to all those married couples who are having a little strain right now. May the good Lord see fit to assist you in finding the way to keep family relations strong and prosperous.
    Thanks for keeping it real and light @Coach24. We need that from time to time.

    Steve
    10 Chevy Traverse LT AWD
    02 Chevy Trailblazer LS (110K+ miles - loaded except for 4WD - WRECKED!)
    99 Chevy Cavalier LS (105K+ miles - commuter car)
    78 Chevy Suburban Silverado (454, 3/4 ton)
    62 GMC 3/4 ton Pickup (350 police interceptor)

    Remember: Search Before Posting | Fill out Your Profile & Signature
    Follow Us Please: facebook.com/gmtruckclub | twitter.com/gmtruckclub
    Support GMTC: Help the site, contribute today

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