One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil... Satan: "Why so sad?" Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell, that's why I'm so sad!" Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.You a drinking man?" Guy: "Sure, I love to drink." Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness and wine coolers . We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway." Guy: "Gee that sounds great!" Satan: "You a smoker?" Guy: "You better believe it!" Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you getcancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?" Guy: "Wow...that's awesome!" Satan: "I bet you like to gamble." Guy: "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do." Satan: "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow." Guy: "Cool!" Satan: "What about Drugs?" Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?" Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares." Guy: "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!" Satan: "You gay?" Guy: "No..." Satan: "Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough..."