Mechanics have a sense of humor

Discussion in 'Games Forum' started by bob13, Jul 4, 2009.

  1. bob13

    bob13 Epic Member 5+ Years 1000 Posts

    I got this today and thought it was funny enough to post here.:rofl:

    After every flight, Quantas Airline pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas’ pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

    By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

    (P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
    (S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)



    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


    P: Something loose in c o c kpit.
    S: Something tightened in c o c kpit.


    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.


    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.


    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.


    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That’s what they’re for.


    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you’re right.


    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


    P: Mouse in c o c kpit.
    S: Cat installed.


    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S:Took hammer away from midget
    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  2. Springthing

    Springthing Epic Member 5+ Years 1000 Posts

    I'd not heard the last three but love this list! I don't know if it's true or not, but funny to imagine all the same. :)
     
  3. Z71_guy

    Z71_guy Epic Member 5+ Years 1000 Posts

    haha thats great
     
  4. adampaul1964

    adampaul1964 Epic Member 5+ Years ROTM Winner 1000 Posts

    I've seen that list before and it always gives me a laugh, I'm in industrial maintenance by trade so i can relate, I remove evidence of oil leaks all the time!!:rofl:
     
  5. cascott325

    cascott325 Epic Member 5+ Years 1000 Posts

    that is hilarious. i especially like the last one
     
  6. Crakums_GT

    Crakums_GT Epic Member 5+ Years 500 Posts

    That is hilarious. It reminds me of some of the joke e-mails we get circulating around the Air Force.

    -Greg
     
  7. Wrench

    Wrench Rockstar

    hahaha wow those are good
     
  8. ippielb

    ippielb Epic Member 5+ Years ROTM Winner 1000 Posts

    I loved it! Great post.
     
  9. Marty04Sierra

    Marty04Sierra Epic Member 5+ Years 500 Posts

    Great LOL...
     
  10. crane557

    crane557 Rockstar 100 Posts

    Those are great!
     

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