My Story, Just need to get this off of my chest

Discussion in 'The Coffee Shop ~ Chit Chat' started by Camaro69car, Dec 20, 2013.

  1. Camaro69car

    Camaro69car New Member

    So I know I will probably never meet any of you, but here is my story / Battle with Depression

    It all started when I was 10 years old and moved from NJ to South East Ohio. Not only dealing with the culture shock, losing most of my friends, and not fitting in, I was bullied at school on a daily basis because I was a "City boy". after about 6 months of dealing with all that I found myself isolating myself from the rest of the world. After living there for 4 years, My family moved yet again to Northern Kentucky, and once again, I lost what little friends I had in Ohio, just to start over again. This also started my isolation again. After High school I found what seemed like the woman of my dreams, who after 4 months of dating, decided she wanted another kid (she got pregnant by someone else at 16) and completely stopped her birth control without telling me. After breaking that off, she proceded to stalk me at home and at my workplace. After about 2 months of this, I decided to move to VA. which was the hardest thing to do in my life, leaving behind someone I still loved to move to the unknown. After being down here for about 2 1/2 months, I had had enough. Haven't had much luck in finding employment, couldn't join the military due to a medical condition, savings account was running dry (over 10K when I left for VA). This was my darkest hour so to speak. I had taken my shotgun (which I no longer own due to obvious reasons) put it up to my chin and pulled the trigger, and by some miracle, it didn't go off. Shortly after that happened, all of my family members who had disowned me due to my ex-girlfriend, had called to see if I was okay. Since then I have broken free of these shackles of depression, found a job, have a great soon-to-be Fiance', and am loving life. Even living paycheck to paycheck doesn't bother me.

    As far as why I am posting this on here is to let others who may be having a rough time, and down on their luck to just hold on. I'm glad that I am alive today, and I try my best to help others.

    God let me live for a reason, and what that is I will never know.

    If anyone needs someone to talk to please PM me, Don't travel the same road I did, It's not pretty, and the only one you'll be hurting is the one's who love/care about you.

  2. Curky

    Curky New Member

    Thank you Jason! I don't care if anyone understands but I love you for putting yourself out there like that. I will one day put out my story.
  3. Curky

    Curky New Member

    My main thing because I am real close. The dude that ****ed up my life is due to a release in the next year and I pray I do not do what I promised myself I will do my whole life...
  4. MrJ52

    MrJ52 New Member

    Im speechless, Something to say about putting yourself out there, Powerful
  5. Curky

    Curky New Member

    RIGHT?.. [MENTION=64702]MrJ52[/MENTION] that is deep. Very, some people might not get it but it does mean a lot to put it out there like that...
  6. Curky

    Curky New Member

    @Comaro69car has gained so much respect from me. I just can't go there yet because I might be the bad guy in a year or two.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 20, 2013
  7. Curky

    Curky New Member

    Last edited: Dec 21, 2013
  8. Curky

    Curky New Member

    [MENTION=51590]Pikey[/MENTION] sorry to call you Into this but why can't I tag him....
  9. Pikey

    Pikey Moderator Staff Member

    because you spelled it wrong! lol it is camaro not comaro @Camaro69car
  10. Curky

    Curky New Member

    Lol, see I knew you would tell me the truth. lol hope all is well with you.
  11. TRPLXL2

    TRPLXL2 New Member

    Been there, doing that. Counselors help though
  12. Curky

    Curky New Member

    I have seen many In my life. They dud help me to a point but. .... A few problems. Of they won't give me what I need from. Brain surgery (the nerves that got messed up) than I want nothing... I have dealt with things my whole life and have managed. But sometimes things get the best of you. I'm great and fine. Really guys. I appreciate the concern from people like you.
  13. the phantom

    the phantom New Member

    Great to hear you all got through it. All I can say is be carefull of the Meds that are prescribed for depression. One in particular is Wellbutrin I think it is. I watched my girlfriend go from depression to almost siezure like fits of rage after the Dr. doubled her dosage because she thought it wasnt working well enough. We no longer go to that Dr. and happy to say that she is on no meds for it now and found that she was gluten sensitive causing much of the problem. Several family deaths in a year was also major contributer. Grandmother,stepmother and father.
    The Dr.s really dont know what will work and wont. It depends on chemical makeup of the individual and it seems they play russian roullette with the meds. The side affects sometimes are worse than the depression itself ex. nightmares, repeat of unpleasant dreams, dreams that make no sense. insomnia, lack of appetite, ect.
    It is also very hard on loved ones around someone with depression. Very strenuous on relationships and can often end in breakup/divorce. It definitely helps to talk to loved ones about it rather than keeping it bottled up. Very difficult to understand if you have never experienced it or lived and loved someone with it. Just remember its like the brain has the flu. Feed it the right thoughts and it will cure itself. It will always get better.
  14. Curky

    Curky New Member

    Understood and been in most my past life. Wellbutrin was the one that work the most for me. It is different for everybody. It is like mining chemicals in the sink with one of them blind. I flashed ever med I was on my 18th birthday. Because I could not pay for any (don't mean I be leave in Obamacare). Took a couple of weeks but I have been doing good since for the most pary.
  15. Camaro69car

    Camaro69car New Member

    Sorry for the late reply, got home from work, cooked me some steak and eggs, and layed down for a bit. Curkey if you ever need anyone to talk to let me know. I know its hard to open up to a complete stranger, but sometimes it helps to just get it off your chest.

    As far as whats happening in the next year, dont land yourself in jail. You seem like a good guy curky, plus you have better things to worry about than some punk. Pm me if you want to talk/text. And that goes for anyone.

    - - - Updated - - -

    This wasnt even about respect. I just wanted people to realize that people that you would never realize are carrying around so much weight and dont know how to get it off their chest.

    Also just wanted everyone on here to realize I am real, and I am not ashamed of who I am, or what I've done. God has made us all unique and given everyone a different experience.

    Thank you everyone for at least reading what ive had to say, i wish depression didnt exist. But it does, and sometimes just a simple wave or how are you doing can really make someones day.

    Once again thank all of you. It means a lot. I would give up all my money just to know what someones made of.
  16. Goldie

    Goldie New Member

    God let me live for a reason, and what that is I will never know.

    Camaro - Just my 2 cents worth on the above from your original post. The reason your Maker let you live is so you can help someone else with this or similar conditions. And you proved it by being brave and caring enough to share your story.
  17. BurbanMan

    BurbanMan Member

    exactly. It takes a solid pair a stones to do what you've done. It truly is a monumental accomplishment. Thank you.
  18. ChevyFan

    ChevyFan Administrator Staff Member

    Glad that you're out of the dungeon of depression. No fun, I think that many of us have been there, just not to that level.
  19. Camaro69car

    Camaro69car New Member

    I just want to let everyone know that it is possible to dig yourself out of your hole, and start waking up and looking at all the wonderful things happening in my life, rather than focusing on the bad things that have happened in the past.

    Life is a roller coaster, you can either be scared of every bump, twist, and turn. Or you can hop up front and enjoy the ride.

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