Okay! Update! After spending all but $21 to my name, I believe the problem has been rectified. Took it to the dealership for the alignment, and he looked up the Check Engine light to confirm that it was a faulty Throttle Position Sensor. I bit the bullet and told them to go ahead and replace it. He told me that in order for it to work, I also needed an Air Fuel Induction Service. I told him go ahead and do it. Again, I do too much driving to be in a bad way, and I'm usually driving with two kids in the truck. I picked it up at about 3:30pm today and it drove BETTER than it did when I bought it. I'm praying that all continues to be well. I don't even have enough loot left over to put gas in for the week, but hey...it appears that the TPS replacement + Air Fuel Induction = No More Stabilitrak Drama. My dream truck is no longer a nightmare.