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Stella Awards.

Discussion in 'Games Forum' started by 1st Synthetics, Jul 23, 2009.

  1. 1st Synthetics

    1st Synthetics Epic Member 5+ Years 1000 Posts

    [FONT=&quot]Stella Awards

    It's time again for the annual 'Stella
    Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after
    81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and
    successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased
    coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it
    between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one
    could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for
    the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the
    kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head
    scratcher handy.

    Here are the Stellas for the past year:

    *SEVENTH PLACE*

    Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was
    awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle
    tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The
    store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering
    the running toddler was her own son.

    Start scratching!

    * SIXTH PLACE *

    Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles ,
    California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran
    over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice
    there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal
    his neighbor's hubcaps.

    Scratch some more...

    * FIFTH PLACE *

    Terrence Dickson, of Bristol ,
    Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way
    of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door
    opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open.
    Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the
    garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit
    for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a
    large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company
    claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance
    company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have
    this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are more...

    Double hand scratching after this one..

    *FOURTH PLACE*

    Jerry Williams, of Little Rock,
    Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded
    $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his
    next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in
    its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for
    because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the
    time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into
    the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

    Pick a new spot to scratch, you're
    getting a bald spot..

    * THIRD PLACE *

    Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania
    because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500
    after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The
    reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at
    her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever
    happened to people being responsible for their own actions?

    Only two more so ease up on the scratching....

    *SECOND PLACE*

    Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued
    the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the
    bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even
    though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window
    to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club
    had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

    Ok. Here we go!!

    * FIRST PLACE *

    This year's runaway First Place Stella
    Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who
    purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home,
    from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the
    cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to
    the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not
    surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
    Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting
    in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's
    seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her,
    are you sitting down?
    $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home..
    Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit,
    just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a
    motor home.

    Are we, as a society, getting more stupid....
    or are more members of Congress serving
    on juries these days?
    [/FONT]
  2. bry2500

    bry2500 Epic Member 5+ Years 1000 Posts

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    #1 definitely earned it's spot in the Stella's.
  3. dsfloyd

    dsfloyd Epic Member 5+ Years ROTM Winner Gold Member 1000 Posts

    I'm surprised there aren't more from California. This is one of the places stupidity and a lack of responsibility is bread.
  4. Z71_guy

    Z71_guy Epic Member 5+ Years 1000 Posts

    omg i didn't realize there is so many stupid people in this country
  5. thrasher

    thrasher Rockstar 100 Posts

    Doesn't that sh!t just make you want to try and BEAT some common sense into the nearest "functional retard"??

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