Will this make you smile?

Discussion in 'Games Forum' started by Springthing, Feb 18, 2009.

  1. Springthing

    Springthing New Member

    Received in a FW: email from my wife. Hopefully they'll help you crack as smile.

    One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery
    plot as a Christmas gift.

    The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

    When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't
    used the gift I bought you last year!"

    And that's how the fight started.....


    My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?" I
    replied "Dust".

    And that's how the fight started.....


    A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is
    not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
    horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a

    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

    And that's how the fight started.....


    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming

    She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in
    about 3 seconds. ' I bought her a scale.

    And that's how the fight started.....


    I asked my wife, 'Wher e do you want to go for our anniversary?'

    It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

    'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

    So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

    And that's when the fight started....


    My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
    we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

    'No,' she answered.

    I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

    She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

    So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

    And that's when the fight started....


    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
    someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.

    And that's when the fight started.....


    I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for

    Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her
    the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

    And that's when the fight started.....


    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
    and I kept staring at a drunk en lady swigging her drink as she sat
    alone at a nearby table.

    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took
    to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
    hear she hasn't been sober since.'

    'My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on
    celebrating that long?'

    And that's when the fight started.....


    I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the
    road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

    You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little
    things just seem funny?

    Yeah, well I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!!!

    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM
    NOT HAPPY!!!'

    So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are

    And that's when the fight started.....


    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,
    took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

    He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

    'Nah, she can order for herself.'

    And that's when the fight started
  2. adampaul1964

    adampaul1964 New Member

    :lol: awesome! :lol:
  3. cascott325

    cascott325 New Member

    funny ha ha
  4. MWright936

    MWright936 New Member

    :rofl: those are great!!
  5. 04sierracrewcab

    04sierracrewcab New Member

  6. CarpenterGuy

    CarpenterGuy New Member

    LOL i almost peed my pants
  7. 95CTburb19

    95CTburb19 New Member

    hahahaha thats awesome. :rofl:
  8. 06piney

    06piney New Member

    :rofl: That was great, I still havent stopped laughing lol.
  9. Pete95Sierra

    Pete95Sierra New Member

  10. bry2500

    bry2500 New Member

    Laughed for hours

    then showed this to the wife and that's when the fight started
  11. ridnrimz

    ridnrimz New Member

    ^^^^ LOL!

    These are good ones.
  12. ippielb

    ippielb New Member

    Yes that will make me smile.
  13. TheChadders

    TheChadders New Member

    :rules: that is some quality stuff right there!:rofl::lol::rofl:
  14. winsonca

    winsonca New Member

    those jokes are so funny, good job
  15. JasonG224

    JasonG224 New Member

    Good ones...

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